Browse Professor Quotes
I though my porsche was fast until i rented a taurus
—Greg Jarrell STR401: Managerial Economics
I had just come out and was starting to have sex. then AIDS became an issue. that put a damper on things.
—LIN 103
I'm just gonna use the example from the book because I'm not very intelligent.
—Professor Segal. Math 217
So, did you do the readings for today's lecture or should I go f*** myself?
—English Professor
I think it's nice to get laid, I'm all for it.
—Prof. Deci
It's like that saying...hung like Einstein and smart as a horse. Get it?!
—Professor Howell, physics 121
If you're a freshman in this class the juniors and seniors will eat your lunch.
—Prof. Tipton Physics 113
I'm afraid we have to talk about the war--I'm sorry about that. I'm going to try not to do that so often.
—Professor Weaver in HIS214: Europe and the Great WAR
Sex is great!
—Dr. Sajdak, BIO 102
The reason not to do drugs is because they won't get you high enough for long enough.
—Prof. Brooks
I dont think i've gotten it up in about 10 years
—mechE prof
I can't access it [the answers to problem sets] from home. Not that I care; I know how to do all of them.
—Professor Thomas Tucker; MTH 236H: Introduction to Algebra I
You don't get gonorrhea from a toilet seat- thats an awful position to have sex in, on a toilet seat...
—Professor Dietsche, BIO204, Physiology Lab lecture
What would the sequel be? The Passion 2: Christ is Back and He's Pissed
—prof givens
There's a big yellow disk in the sky. I wonder if the Air Force knows about it.
—Prof. Beaumont, referring to the sun
If that's the end of the world I should probably stop teaching this class.
—Earl Conee, PHL 220, talking about the loud noises outside the classroom
all organisms have varying numbers of chromosomes, potatoes actually have one more chromosome pair than humans
—anonymous
I'm not even sure I understand what I am about to explain to you, but I'll see what I can do.
—Prof. Conee, PHL 220
When my students ask me how long their papers should be, I always tell them 11 inches.
—Stewart Weaver, HIS 237
See...lots of times I don't know what I'm doing
—UR Psych Professor
Ahhh, vodka in the middle of the day is so great.
—Prof. Deci, taking a sip from a mug containing clear liquid.
Well, you know what they say in Rochester, oral sex IS talking about it.
—Prof. Regenstreif, PSC 217
Rats can pleasure themselves to death!
—Deci in PSY 262...enough said.
Alligators are just birds without wings, right?
—Prof. Bob Minckley, BIO 112: Biology Perspectives
I'm gonna tie my shoe while I finish asking this question. It's untied and I don't want to trip myself.
—Prof. Conee, never taking a break from lecturing.
F*ck You Death
—Prof. Homerin. REL 167: Speaking Stones
You don't really sit down with a career counselor and say, 'I want to minor in prostitution'
—Sam Nelson - Freedom of Expression - talking about how some say pornography and prostitution are degrading to women
You should all have children! Procreate!
—Professor Givens
Prostitution is like picking up trash on the quad.
—Professor Landsberg on the social gain theory
Get drunk, don't shave for a week, and shoot your brother-in-law.
—Professor Grella, on hunting.
Don't do your mom...unless she's published
—Sam Nelson, talking about philosophers you shouldn't write your finals papers about.
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let's put a minus sign here. And there was light: a wave equation.
—PHY 217: Electricity & Magnetism I.
Without a calculator, I am bad news!
—UR Math Professor
There is a 50 perecent chance that I will get head. And 50 percent chance of me getting tail
—Stats Teacher talkin about probablity of flippin a coin
See? Numbers ARE fun...but I'm a dork
—UR Stat Prof, telling his class why math is the best.
It's Wednesday! I can go home and drink!
—Prof. Givens, getting a little too excited...
Hey, quiet down in here, people are trying to take naps in here.
—Prof. Zaino, trying to get STT 211 started
If you increase the distance, the attraction force goes down, this is why long distance relationships don't work.
—Physics Prof. explaining Coulomb's Law
I'll try and relate this problem to you guys by pretending these alluminum cans are really beer cans, is that better?
—Math Professor, helping us put things in context.
Transversion...perversion. Sexual perversion. That's DRASTIC.
—Professor Hinkle, BIO 198, explaining his memory trick to remember the difference between transformation and transversion (a more "drastic" mutation)
I'm trying to teach you to stop being so Western.
—Eric Schmitz, Creative Improve through African Percussion
If you push your girlfriend down a hill, she will eventually stop. I shouldn't have said that.
—Dr. Brown, my uncomfortably lame calc 2 prof, was trying to make a joke. It didn't really work.
There wasn't any of this pussy-footing around
—Professor Power, about the Nazi's stance about Democracy
Sociology is the study of how people screw each other over
—Professor Harper talking about social inequality
My friend, who is a crack addict...
—Professor Richard Ryan giving a real life example to demonstrate psychological theories in PSY181
I'm like God!
—Professor Givens
Don't hate the player
—Sam Nelson - Freedom of Expression - Talking about himself
Its really difficult to concentrate on genetics at 10 am when the country is going to hell
—Prof D.Hinkle
This is for real, no tranquilizers this time! Bambi's getting it now.
—UR Professor, talking about counting deer and getting a bit off topic.
We'll do something easy on the exam.
—Prof. Milinovich, mth 161
The bowlers are the ones who keep the country together.
—Professor Gamm, PSC 202, lecturing on the evolution of community participation in the US.
Now let's play some drums
—Eric Shmitz, Creative Improv
Never trust chicken guts.
—Prof. Cadorette, REL 231: History of Christianity
Whatever it is athletes do: hot man on man sex in the locker room or whatever.
—Professor Maister, about male bonding in sports.
What the hell are you talking about Earl?
—Earl Conee, getting himself back on track in Philosophy 220
So you kinda have the one penis picture rule
—Sam Nelson - Freedom of Expression - In response to one student's notion that showing a picture of a penis to a person only one time doesn't constitute sexual harassment
Yeah. It's pretty trippy.
—On visual perception and illusions
Near the end of class...I still have 5 minutes to dump some more facts on you
—Prof. Demina
And that, in the wasp world, is called porn.
—bio198 lab TA
You talk like you are your own car, but you aren't, you just like it a lot.
—A UR Philosophy Prof., trying to explain why God doesn't exist
I think kids study too much, go out there, get a fake degree online and go travel.
—Anonymous
So, God is really just a table...with a security loop.
—Conee (PHL 101)